


Ad Astra

by violetarcher



Category: Fate/EXTRA, Fate/stay night & Related Fandoms
Genre: F/M, Gen, Spoilers, even when gilgamesh isn't being a dick he's a dick, fate/extra ccc, gilgamesh is the enemy of all women, hakuno has gil's number, hakuno refuses to put up with gil's crap, king of assholes, the wine cellar of the gods
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-09
Updated: 2013-11-09
Packaged: 2017-12-31 22:14:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,070
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1036972
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/violetarcher/pseuds/violetarcher
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's the first day of the rest of her life with the King of Heroes. Fate/Extra CCC, post-Gilgamesh end, spoilers for the entire game.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Ad Astra

**Author's Note:**

> AN: Hakuno also goes by the nickname “Ruka” here. 
> 
> Spoilers for Fate/Extra CCC as a whole and spoilers for Gilgamesh’s ending.
> 
> Special thanks to Reiu from the Beast’s Lair forum, who translated parts of Gil’s route, including his ending with Male Hakuno, which you can find here: 
> 
> http://forums.nrvnqsr.com/showthread.php/3574-Fate-Extra-CCC-Translations-SPOILERS?p=1273825&viewfull=1#post1273825 
> 
> and which I’ve quoted a few lines from. The ending is exactly the same for both Female Hakuno and Male Hakuno, so just mentally swap the pronouns around.
> 
> The video for Gil’s ending with Female Hakuno can be seen here (NSFW thanks to the King of Nudists.): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kn8bgfEVb7Y

_Light dazzles her._

“You will know the joy of living.”

_She floats, watching as the light streams away, taking her body with it. Nothing to nothing. Darkness picks at the edges of her vision. Her fingers and toes, legs and arms, they’re all long gone, but it’s fine. Her body is so much lighter now._

_It’s fine._

“The true meaning of having been born.”

_There is a hand in hers, infinitely warm, infinitely strong. The hand of a king._

“Look, do you not see a horse’s head?”

_Light, lighter. Everything away. Her body is so heavy, so cold. Ice sealing up the light. Just a little longer and it will all be goodnight._

“Mongrel. Mongrel. Mongrel. _Mongrel_!”

_I must go. I have to go!_

_“_ How dare you! How dare you give up _now.”_

_Infinite arrogance in a voice like a meathook, pulling her apart._

_ShinjiRaniDanGatouLeoJuliusImsorryImsososorryforgivemeforgiveme._

_They all had lives. Why did the ghost survive? Why did the fake life win out in the end?_

_Ice shrouds her heart, stop everything, darkness flowing, overflowing, let me go, it’s only fair, it’s only right—_

“Master.”

_Heat scores her heart. The ice breaks away._

_Breathe again._

“You will live.”

_Her limbs move, grasping at the light._

“Hakuno.”

_Infinite warmth enfolds her._

_In the end…I guess…did I want? Maybe…I wanted to stay…with him…after all…_

“Master.”

She’s not ready to wake up yet.

“Ruka.”

She snuggles deeper into the covers, winds their warmth against her skin. _Go away._ She’s exhausted. Can’t he let her sleep in just once? They’ve been running all over the place, after Passionlip, after Meltlillith, after Elizabeth, after BB, after the Moon Cell. Labyrinths can wait. Alter Egos can wait. The Holy Grail War can wait. The most powerful Servant, the most obnoxious Servant, the absolute King, Gilgamesh the Golden Hero, the world’s first and biggest pain in the ass, can wait.

He can live without her for a while. She’s going to rest.

“ _Hakuno_. Get up. You are not interesting when you sleep. If you do not open your eyes within the next five seconds, I will hurl you from the window.”

An absolute declaration of punishment; suddenly the bed is not so comfortable.

King of Assholes. _Fine. Fine._ She opens one eye.

Light floods a room grander than anything she’s ever seen.

_What? What? What the?_

She must be dreaming. Her room at Tsukinoura is shabby and plain, barely large enough to fit Gilgamesh’s throne and her tiny wooden bed. Now she lies in a bed large enough to hold that room twice over, with space to spare. Sheets and counterpane of pale creamy-yellow silk, with curtains to match. Bedposts of dark wood, thicker than telephone poles, carved with curious beasts, hold up a canopy embroidered in pale rose and deep gold. Pillows pile six deep behind her head. Her bare arm looks tiny and wan against all this richness.

Bare arm?

_Wait. Wait a second._

An ornate chair, draped in crimson silk, and a small table boasting a golden wine flagon and cup have been placed at the foot of her bed for the comfort and convenience of the king who sits before her, wearing a short red and gold robe that she doesn’t recognize.

Gilgamesh twirls a second cup between his slim fingers and scowls at her. A droplet of wine sloshes free, leaving a stain like a tiny ruby on his skin. “At last. Are you satisfied? You have made a king play nursemaid. I am still contemplating a suitable punishment.”

“Uh…”

Strands of amber beads hang from the canopy. They sway gently, winking gold in the light.

He sips his wine and his expression relaxes into a more contemplative one. “Perhaps I should not be so harsh. After all, it was my failure to properly evaluate your condition once we left the Moon Cell that led to this outcome. But—the weeping and wailing, the unnecessary outpouring of unneeded grief—that was all Hakuno Kishinami. No, some punishment is still in order.”

_What?_

Birds worked in silver and gold thread soar over the walls—at least, they seem like birds. Beneath them, flowers bloom by the hundreds in pinks and lavenders, stems curling together to form a graceful bower.

“Um. Gil…?”

“Yes?”

She takes a deep breath, then unleashes herself. “What happened? What’s going on? What ‘condition’? What do you mean, ‘weeping and wailing’? Why are we in this great…no, _fabulous_ room when you should have lost everything coming here? What is this place? And—“ She draws another breath. “ _Why am I naked_?”

“Hmmph. A rather disrespectful and chiding tone from my mongrel, is that not? I shall allow it this time. You are clearly still addled from sleep. But, do not presume too much farther on my generosity, Ruka. I am already in a sour mood from playing the servant these last two days. Never in my life have I needed to procure the necessities of existence with my own hands when others were about me. You have a great many things to atone for.” His gaze is dispassionate, but she can see the barest hint of a smile lurking at the corners of his mouth, the contented smile of a king savoring a sinner’s punishment.

_Oh boy. Maybe I would have been better off if he’d left me to die…?_

Gilgamesh stretches, languidly uncrossing and re-crossing his legs. Hastily, she looks away. _King of Nudists. I guess I should be grateful he’s wearing anything at all._

 “Where shall I start. First, we are in the finest hotel in the capital city of this planet—well, it is said to be the finest, but I find it rather paltry, the decor austere—but I suppose it will serve as a basic initiation into luxury for you. You are already dazzled, are you not?”

Ruka looks again at the ropes of amber beads hanging neatly against the bed curtains, the heavy silk that wraps her body, the shimmering birds and brilliant flowers rioting over the walls. _Paltry. Uh huh._ _And why is the guy who can’t be satisfied by anything making it sound like I’m the one at fault?_

As usual, Gilgamesh does not wait for her answer. “I digress. Do you remember our arrival?”

“Yeah, I think so.” _The glittering sea of light, the two of them poised at the top of a slender tower, the highest point of the world._ “I remember taking your hand. But after that…everything went dark.” _Despair eating away her body, sorrow drinking her breath._ “I was cold and dark and…alone.” Remembering looses something inside her and suddenly the dank chill of those dreams fills her once more, crawling along her spine, clogging her lungs with ice. Frantic, she looks down at her arms, half-expecting to see blackness pocking her skin, her life eroding away.

Gilgamesh snorts loudly and the chilly feeling vanishes as quickly as it had come. “Alone. What nonsense. ‘Alone’ does not exist in my presence. I suppose that foolish feeling was due to your condition. Shortly after our arrival it quickly became apparent that the Moon Cell had deleted more of your existence than I had realized when I claimed you from the Sea of Nothing. The strain of the journey led to further collapse: you fell unconscious, began to blacken. I bore you here and sustained you on my prana until you seemed completely recovered, but even when your body was whole again, you would not wake. You wailed and sobbed in sleep like a fretting child, contaminating my shoulder with your tears, crying out for the dead, crying out—“

“Wait. Can we back up for just a second? What do you mean by—“

His sigh is long and exasperated. “Hakuno, you are insolent today! Perhaps your near-brush with deletion has made you bold? Or is it that you feel the king has lowered himself by tending to his master and therefore you may scorn him freely now? It is death to interrupt a king, as I have certainly mentioned before. One would almost think that you _want_ to be punished.” His eyes narrow, a strange expression passing across them that she can’t quite identify. Something in the pit of her stomach flutters anxiously at the sight. “ _Do_ you want to be punished? I suppose getting it out of the way early might be beneficial, but I have not yet settled on what would be most fitting…hmm.”

_Punishment. For the heinous crime of slightly inconveniencing the king. So much for our vows of equality. Typical Gilgamesh. What was I expecting? But I think he’s just grumpy from the strain of having to actually care for another person for once. Fussing like a kid forced to stay up too late. He likes his naps and I bet he hasn’t slept at all these last two days. Saving me and bringing me here must have used up a lot of his power, not that he’ll ever admit to being less than perfect. And he must have lost more supporting me with his prana._

_He’s just cranky._

_He doesn’t really mean it._

_I really hope he doesn’t really mean it._

 “You are oddly quiet, Hakuno. Have you fallen silent from fear? I see the eyes of a timid doe staring back at me instead of those of an unvanquished conqueror. Do not become tiresome now of all times. I did not accept you as my Master only to have you crumble after your battles have been won.” His lips purse and he looks down at his wine, shifts in his throne. “Or…perhaps your mind has been affected? I had thought that the Moon Cell’s deletion had not yet breached your mind and soul but the Hakuno I knew smiled bravely through every crisis, concealing her fear deep inside. That weeping, this insolence, this…fear…unnatural. Tiresome…”

_Oh? Do I detect perhaps the tiniest hint of anxiety?_

Gilgamesh gulps wine and glares at her, the same slightly pouting glare that she remembers from their shared dream of the Bull of Heaven and the loss of his friend. The glare of the tyrant king struggling against the audacious claim that he truly loved humanity.

A deep, calm warmth fills her body, and she wishes that she could laugh. _Poor Gil. But, twisted as it is, I’m really happy knowing that you’re afraid for me. That you care._

 Ruka leans forward, careful that the sheets are pulled tightly around her. “Gilgamesh. I’ll be fine. I am fine. I’m just really confused and kind of out of it. We fought a crazy man trying to create endless war on Earth, then I was nearly deleted, then whisked to another planet 1500 light years away from everything I’ve ever known and now I’m laying naked in a bed bigger than my room at Tsukinoura. Please, King of Heroes—take pity on your master. Her mind is a little messed up right now.”

Gilgamesh doesn’t smile but his expression grows lighter, almost—but not quite—relieved. “Perhaps something to sustain you and clear your head then.” He lifts a graceful hand and the golden ripples of the Gate of Babylon dance above his fingers. A small ivory flask drops into his hand: he takes the second cup from the table and pours an opalescent liquid inside, holds the cup out to her. “Drink.”

She points at the flask. “That’s another thing. How do you still have access to the Gate of Babylon? We’re not connected to Earth anymore; doesn’t that mean you’ve lost your powers? Here, you’re not a legendary hero.”

His perfect lips twist in a sneer and he sets her cup down with a thump. “Do not be ridiculous. Does a king cease to be a king if he sets foot outside his borders? The Gate, my Golden Rule—all are one with me. Mongrel, the Throne of Heroes transcends time and space. _I_ transcend time and space. My little trips affect nothing.” His crimson eyes glitter with hauteur. “More importantly, _you_ are here, and know my glory for yourself. That is enough. And besides, there is an air here, something familiar yet not…haha.”

His grin is sudden, sharp and mocking. “But I will let you discover that for yourself. Come now.” He offers the cup again; a king, solemn and generous, bestowing a boon. “Drink.”

She clutches the sheets closer: one stretch and wriggle later and the cup is in her hand. The liquid within glows gently, shimmers like a melted rainbow. She frowns at it. “This is wine? It’s not like the ones you usually drink.”

“Oh, it is wine,” Gilgamesh says and smiles fondly down at his own cup as her skin bristles with warning.

 _This is one of his jokes, isn’t it. Argh. Revenge start, huh?_ Slowly, she lifts the cup and takes a sip. The wine is faintly sweet and fizzes on her tongue. Will her tongue fall off? Or hairs sprout between her teeth? No, nothing. She takes another tiny sip.

Gilgamesh still smiles, though he’s doing his best to disguise it under a lifted eyebrow and a frown. “My wine is far too glorious for such timid sips. Drink deeply, my mongrel. Where is your brave face? A conqueror, afraid of mere wine? No, it would be a disgrace.”

 _Yep, you’re not up to anything at all._ She lifts her head instead and stares at him. “Are you ever going to tell me what happened to my clothes?”

His annoyance slips completely to amusement. “Those filthy, half-deleted rags? I disposed of them. The designer should have been hacked into eighths and flung to the winds for their utter lack of taste. Do not worry: I have long since forgiven you the offense of wearing them in my presence. I assumed you had no choice but to clothe yourself in that wonder of ugliness. Later, once you have bathed and eaten, we shall go in search of raiment suitable for you.”

“How? I’m naked! Gil, I can’t go shopping for clothes without clothes! I’m not an unrepentant nudist like you!”

The royal eyes roll. “Mongrel, of course you cannot go out naked.” Gilgamesh drains his wine, drops the cup onto the table, props his head on his now free hand. His smile is small, sweet and frightening. “Scrawny and unappealing as it is, your naked body is for my eyes alone.”

That smile sucks away all the air in the room; her vision, for just an instant, goes as dark as the Sea of Nothing. She fumbles at her cup with prickling fingers. _Did he just say…_ “Y-you, you, you…goddamnit, _what the hell Gilgamesh?”_

He leans back, smirking, satisfied. “Those fierce eyes, that excellent hatred— _there_ is Hakuno. It seems my master is intact after all.” His voice swells with laughter, rolling his words joyfully over his tongue. “Such fury and spite! How enjoyable it is to tease you. You look far livelier now: your anger has flushed that waxen skin of yours almost becomingly. Keep glaring at me, Master. It is very refreshing.”

 _That little—he deliberately--Jerk jerk jerk!_ It feels like it will take years for the blush to completely drain from her skin but she laughs along with him, a harsh chuckling that proclaims she’s not falling for his crap.

Gilgamesh is still laughing as he pulls a white and gold square of cloth from the Gate and lays it on the bed before her. “Here; it is for you to wear until your wardrobe is procured. It is simple, but it will do well enough.”

The cloth, unfolded, turns out to be a short silk tunic so heavily embroidered with gold she could hammer nails with it. “Very simple indeed,” she agrees, tracing the arc of a leaping lion. “Why couldn’t I wear this before?”

“Hmm? It would not be comfortable to sleep on that.” She grudgingly nods at the point. There is a nightstand nearly hidden behind the curtains at the head of the bed; there, she puts her cup down, pushing it as deeply into shadow as she can without being obvious about it.

It’s a struggle to don the tunic while keeping herself covered with the sheets but she manages. To her quiet relief, the garment is longer and looser than it originally appeared, hanging in deep folds from her shoulders, falling past her knees when she lifts into a slight crouch, and the embroidery isn’t scratchy at all.

Gilgamesh, looking at her, strokes a finger across the arm of his throne and frowns. “What? Too good for me after all?”

His frown turns into a glare. “Fool. I would not have given it to you had I not felt you worthy of it. No. It is something else entirely. A memory, quite faint—“ He falls silent. A moment later, his eyes close.

He does not speak or move for quite some time and she is reluctant to disturb him. A breeze stirs the bed curtains, ruffles her hair. None of the windows are open and she can’t see any air ducts; there must be some kind of hidden ventilation system. _It’s amazing how close this place is to Earth. Really crazy close. I remember him saying that he was aiming for a planet similar to ours but I can’t believe how alike it is. I guess it will make settling in easier though._ She rubs her thumb gently over the golden squares decorating the tunic’s hem, glances at him. Eyes still closed.

_Eternity with Gil. Not that being virtual means we can’t die—don’t I know that—but if nothing happens, we could go on together forever. And this time, there’s no end in sight. No escape. I’m only a third-rate mage and he’s got all the money._

_It really is just the two of us, Master and Servant, now and forever._ Under her breath, she lets out a tiny, nearly silent sigh.

_I’ll be lucky if I last a week before he drives me completely insane._

The minutes stretch on. Just as she is debating whether or not to go back to sleep, Gilgamesh stirs and speaks. “Hmmph. Well, that was pointless and not at all amusing.” He shrugs and stretches, moving his shoulders as if to shake off a weight. “How odd that that ghost should rear its head now, of all times.”

Ruka pulls fabric between her fingers. “What’s the matter? Is me wearing this going to be a problem? Did someone die in this?” _Crap. What about that friend of his from that dream. Is this their outfit? Because it’s going to be so many flavors of awkward if it is._

A wave of his hand, a regal dismissal. “Warped woman. No, no one died. I believe—though I cannot be certain—that this garment was mine as a child, worn for some festival or other.” Despite his casual air, his nails scratch at the wood of his throne, a light, restless sound. “I suppose it must have been dear to me for some reason, else it would have been purged with the more useless parts of my treasury when I came to you on the Near Side. Something about you donning it called out to me, summoned a mere wisp of long-ago…But the significance, as with all memories of my childhood, has long since departed from me. It was that flicker of memory that abstracted me. Nothing more.”

She still feels uneasy. “Are you sure? You don’t have any women’s clothing in the Gate that I could wear instead? None at all?”

“No. There are no women’s garments in my vaults, save those of a queen.” Gilgamesh’s smile is a perfect crescent of malice. “And it would be hardly fitting for you to wear such, do you not agree?”

“Oh. They were your wife’s, you mean?” She won't take the bait.

He chuckles quietly. “Which wife do you mean, mongrel of mine? I had nine-hundred and fifty-four. No. Nine-hundred-fifty-five. I had forgotten; I had taken another shortly before my death. But,” he lifts a finger, “they were all merely wives. Never a queen. Never have I had a consort. None have ever been worthy.”

 _Somehow, I’m not surprised._ “I see. So, you just left the clothes there in hopes that true love would come along someday? That’s…almost romantic, Gil.”

The king’s smile widens. “Love? What has love to do with it? Love has nothing to do with worth. All beings crumble and vanish, save myself; therefore, love should not be wasted on them. I have never loved. I will never love. I love nothing, Hakuno. Not even you.”

Ruka opens her mouth, shuts it again almost immediately. What she would say would only make him angry.

  _Let him forget about me_. The final plea of his lost friend, the nameless one buried under four thousand years of the king’s grief.

Gilgamesh’s eyes are telling her to be frightened but the only thing she feels is weary sorrow. _King who throws away ninety percent of his treasure to save a ghost girl, king who steals her away to another planet when she’s marked for certain death, king who had a friend he can’t name because the sorrow is still too great._

She looks away; if she keeps his gaze, he will see that she knows him for a liar. “Of course you can’t love,” she says quietly. “How stupid of me. You’re the King without blood, without tears.” She begins to untangle her legs from the covers, keeping her eyes on the bed. “I should get up, go wash—“

“Wait.” His voice is oddly bright. “Mongrel, you would go without finishing your wine? That is a rare vintage I have given you. You would insult me by refusing it? Bring it here.”

 _And that’s the sound of the trap snapping shut._ She manages to turn her grimace into a creditable parody of a smile as she retrieves the cup from the nightstand and turns to walk to him. “Oops. I’d forgotten all about it.”

 Gilgamesh’s eyes are the eyes of a serpent scenting its prey. “Come. Drink, and we shall start over; this vow will be the true beginning of our new lives here. Drink, and take my hand.”

_One swallow, do it real quick. There’s not a lot here, I should be able to drink it all at once. On three: one, two—_

The wine seems thicker, almost creamy as she gulps it down; it tastes like fire spun from honey and rainbows and settles within her like a rain of pearls. Tiny bubbles of contentment swirl through her body, warm her blood. She feels almost…happy.

_Huh, this isn’t so bad._

Gilgamesh is grinning widely enough to bare the tips of his teeth but he takes her hand gently, his thumb brushing against the lone Command Seal left to her.

“Hakuno. Smile and stay by my side. I shall be your sword as we conquer the stars and you will stop fretting and start living.  With me at your side, how could you be anything but satisfied? This I vow: you shall never be bored and I shall keep and protect you until the end of days.” His voice is merry but his crimson eyes bore into her, binding her.

She’s heard some of these words before, deep in some glittering dream. What to say?

_King of Heroes, Gilgamesh, Gil, king of pleasure, king of liars, heartless king, demon tempest, absolute king with an ego bigger than this universe._

_I will never be free of you. I will never have a quiet moment to myself until the universe ends._

_You’ll drag me from one ridiculous situation to another, sneer at me, call me mongrel, order me around, drive me insane._

_I pledge myself to you because I have no choice and because you’ll never let me go._

His hand warms hers.

_But…somehow…despite all this…some crazy stupid part of me doesn't care. A crazy stupid part of me is really glad to stay with you._

_King of Heroes. Even if it drives me crazy, I'll stay by your side until the end of time.  
_

_Yeah. Something exactly like that. That’s what I’ll say._

She opens her mouth—

“Gim, mi twongue hash gwon nub!”

The building rocks with her furious shouts and the king’s laughter.


End file.
